Friday, September 17, 2010

Rewriting History Books

Surprisingly Cracked magazine has become a political analyst of sorts.
They offered a great little piece titled:
5 Fictional Stories You Were Taught in History Class

A Few Highlights:

1) The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere:
we are all familiar with "1 if by land & 2 if by sea" referring to the signal given to Paul Revere before he takes a solo trip warning the colonists of a British invasion.
But in all actuality, there lies many problems in the poem.
-It was hardly a solo trip, and had to realistically consist of at least 40 men.
-To scream "the British are coming" would have been foolish as 20% of the population were loyal to the redcoats.
-2 other men were known to be with Paul, William Dawes & Samuel Prescott.
Before setting on their ride to warn the nation they decided it was time for a pint at the local pub.
Where they just so happened to bump into British sentries.
Dawes & Prescott fled the scene in a foot chase & escaped.
Paul Revere gave up without a fight.

2)Nero fiddles while Rome burns:
the original story states the Roman emperor/arsonist Nero set a fire in order to make a bigger palace for himself. As the fire got out of hand Nero played his fiddle like a crazed lunatic.
The Truth:
-the fiddle wasn't invented until the 16th century
-Nero wasn't even in Rome at the time of the fire.
-the fire was most likely an accident and since many accidental fires broke out around this time, wasn't a big deal, so much in fact that many historians failed to even acknowledge the incident.

3)A naked Lady Godiva rode her horse in public to protest her husbands over-taxing of the townsmen.
The name Peeping Tom originated from this story as one perv tried diligently to sneak a peek.
Reality:
-Lady Godiva owned the town & didn't need her husbands permission to lower taxes