Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Little Caesars: The Next Generation


Once I heard word of Little Caesar franchises popping up around the nation I became ecstatic
I had long considered the Little Caesars brand deceased,
a faded memory of a childhood past.
I can distinctly remember wolfing down slices while watching the Ultimate Warrior in all his retardation beating the piss out of jobbers.
Little Caesars returning was up there with the return of Frankenberry, Boo Berry, & Count Chocula (all 80's staples)
So at the mere mention of some of these chains being close by I began to track the elusive beast.
Unfortunately none were close enough.... Until Now!

A new strip of vacant stores was added to the neighborhood, soon enough a coming soon sign appeared, I could not wait.
Day in day out we would drive by and I would notice a new item in the shop.
Finally today the benevolent return of the pizza giant has arrived,
gracing the front of the building was none other than the Little Caesar mascot himself.
Dominoes may have avoided the Noyd, but Caesars would never give up on their flat footed friend.

The deal was sealed!
I marched on down and noticed once I got there a large was only $5
unheard of nowadays.
A corporate megalodon hashing roman pies for less than a pack of cowboy killers.
A customer began to rejoice of his experience as a child speaking of the famed "Pizza Pizza" slogan.
As I walked home with the box I began to read the different stuff it had written on it.
"Hot & Ready" rings a bell, & ready it was... the cashier had practically known I was coming & put one pie aside for me.
As soon as I walked in the door I opened up the box thinking:
"hmmm... doesn't look very special"
I had remembered a pie similar to the likes of Chuck E Cheese's pizza...
which I now believe was only good cause you had worked up quite an appetite running the gauntlet of mouse mazes.
Giving it a chance I gave my 1st slice to my son, also a pizza afficionado he did his usual routine which consists of him peeling the top layer of cheese off and eating nothing else.
As I grabbed my slice and chewed into it I had an epiphany:
some memories should be left as just that, memories!
The pizza crust: chewy
the sauce: possibly Ragu
it reminded me of another nostalgic pie...
the Mystic Pizza,
which can be found in your local supermarket.
I learned that kids remembered Little Caesars for a reason, it was all theirs.
As adults would eat Papa Ginos & such, the cherubs would be graced with the latter.
I should have noticed the warning signs, 16 year olds at the counter & Caesars only being found in low income neighborhoods.
Recession Era Pizza...
I will return though, fear not...
for its $5,
for christ sakes,
I had a meal for the family in 2 minutes for 5 fucking dollars.


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